Death and Taxation

Jenny "There are only two things that are certain: death and taxation."

Patrick "I can handle the death part, I can't handle taxation."

Overthrowing the Government

In a meeting, whilst discussing the intricate relationships with tax calculations that tied to tax laws:

"We are fixing the wrong problem; we should just overthrow the Government because that's the root cause of the problem."

Palm trees

I've always wondered that palm trees are not trees.  They must be some pre-historic grass or something... they just look so anatomically different to normal trees -- and when I looked it up they were in fact not trees!

On the Internet

"The Internet is just a fad.  It will go away eventually."

On quinoa

Jenny: (Pointing to juice) Oh I get this from this local health food store.
Patrick: Health food store?
Jenny: Yeah, they have healthy salads and wraps, and they put quinoa.
Patrick: (Chuckles) I think quinoa is a recently made-up thing.

Swamp water

(Looking at green vegetable juice)

Patrick: Are you enjoying your swamp water?
Jenny: ...

Talking about his boot of beer

This is like bad ass Cinderella ('s boot). She's got boots made of glass. Like bad-ass-erella.

Kind versus Type

Deepthi: She's not my kind.
Cecil: You mean not my type.
Deepthi: Oh so like sheep aren't my kind...
Patrick: Nooooooo (sounding like moo)

Talking about wisdom teeth removal...

Deepthi: I don't want to go under. What if I never wake up?
Patrick: Well then you'll never know! (with flourish)

During a slightly longer conversation in stand up...

I'm going to have an aneurism.

Talking about possible tech implementations

There's no school like the old school.

Going through TSA Pre-Check...

If someone sets off the metal detector, they should have to go back home and start over again.

Talking about poor html.

The <br/> is the sign of a weak mind.

What's your Windows problem?

The fact that it was installed on this machine.

Talking about comments on the internet...

The whole internet is a one big trailerpark.

Talking about Star Wars...

If the Death Star has taught us anything it's protect your tailpipe.

Observing cars as we drive on the highway...

Is that a car full of plants? No, he's just been driving a long time in the sun.

Updates on team availability...

Bruce: Patrick and I are going on vacation next week.
Patrick: (quickly following up) We're not going on vacation together.

Setting up a room for a meeting...

They're not all going to fit in there. If they do, we'll have to use a blender.

When picking a restaurant...

Kyle: "It's Chereesca's last night with the whole team, we can go somewhere good."
Patrick: "Or we can go somewhere you [Chereesca] pick."

While talking about starting a podcast...

https://vine.co/v/bHXe6H5hnxw

Trying to show code on a slow Windows laptop...

You've got IE. You've got Lotus Notes.
I'd give up too.

Leaving for work.

I can't zip up my coat. I'm going to go back to bed.

First reaction when re-uniting with another ThoughtWorker...

I thought you were dead.

While eating ribs...

You should have got a beard... I mean a bib.