In response to a precariously placed extension cord

"I refuse to die in Delaware"

On ISIS

"If they want to behead people, let them behead people we send to them.  Don't just be beheading random people."

Chatting with the infrastructure team

Jason S (client): we fixed symantec! :D

Patrick: The company?

Guest blogger Stephane Bisson referring to Meetup.com

"Yes, dying and attending any Meetup.com event are pretty much the same thing"

On Organic Food Stores

Jenny "Jess and I went to this organic food place for lunch, and we had a really good carrot-ginger-and-curry soup, a falafel and hummus wrap, and a beet juice with lemon and ginger."

Patrick "None of those things sound like food to me."

Unholy geometry

Talking about the hotels:

Jess "Sometimes you check into a hotel, depending on the room you are in, the furniture is laid out the exact opposite of the last room that you were in...."

Patrick "I really hated my last room, because of the Unholy Geometries."

Popchips and rice cakes

(looking at snacks table)

Patrick: Why do we have Popchips?  They taste like cardboard slices.

Jenny: No, that's rice cakes.

Patrick: Oh yeah, people should know what they are getting into when they buy rice cakes.

Comparing purses and Macs

Jenny: So a good purse is like a good investment, because you don't keep buying the same thing over and over, every couple of years.  Like buying a Windows machine with a Mac shell, versus investing in a real Mac.

Patrick: Who would be stupid enough to do that?

My son still doesn't know what I do for a living...

I know that because he texted me asking "Hey do you build good websites?"

On Bitcoins

Patrick: It requires a lot of computational power to mine a Bitcoin and you will need specialised hash-creating equipment to do that.  You are like, 2 years too late for that.

Colleague:  So why did't you do it before?

Patrick:  Well if I wanted to mine a Bitcoin I would have started 2 years ago.  If I start now I could probably get a quarter.

On Microsoft Visual Studio

(At stand-up)

Patrick: I've been fixing Visual Studio for 4 hours.

Colleague: Were you fixing Visual Studios or fixing Microsoft? (chuckles)

Patrick:  If I was fixing Microsoft, it would take me a lot longer.

On TeamCity

TeamShitty is broken again.

On TSA Pre-check Fails

When people go through TSA pre-check with coins in their pockets or keys or phones or whatever, it beeps and you were wondering why, you should just go home and start over.

On young people and technology

We have a whole generation of people who don't even know how computers work.  They never had to build their computer; everything is consumption-based.  Like the internet and Facebook is just there.

On airport design

They should make the tourists and slow-walkers stay on one side, whilst the rest of us who know what they are doing can walk ahead.

On Microsoft weird tools and frameworks

We should treat Microsoft the way the rest of the world treat North Korea.

On airport security lanes

Separate lane for travellers?  They should have a separate airport for seasoned travellers, one where people know what they are doing.